My Life Experiences

My Life Experiences: In and Out of Afghanistan

By Fatimah Habibi, age 18, Connecticut.

To observe and experience so many terrible things at such a young age had a lasting effect on me. When my brother was kidnapped, I was just seven years old. I may not have known as much at the time because I was so young, but when I saw my family, I knew something wasn’t right. Everyone at home cried for a week, and it appeared as though someone had passed away. He was discovered by the police after the week was over, and they took him to the station. As he saw our family when he got home, he started crying. My parents were crying as well. It “felt like I had been gone forever,” he said. After that, life became more difficult for everyone in my family; we were unable to attend school for almost six months and no longer could leave the house. As long as we stayed in Afghanistan, there was no easy moment. For the protection of my brothers and ourselves, we were forced to make the decision to leave our homeland. Every time I watched my brother or other children playing in the park or outside, I wanted to join them and have fun just like they did. I was happy to hear of my family’s decision since I had always thought that once we left Afghanistan, I would be allowed to play freely in the park like they did without anyone objecting.

I was around age nine when we moved to India, and it was quite traumatic and terrible to leave my entire family behind. It was a good feeling of freedom, but I also faced a lot of challenges like at first, it was very hard for me to learn their language, culture, food, and the most important and shocking thing was their religion (Hinduism).

It was my first time to see a lot of people of different colors and different beliefs. This was something totally new for me. However, on the other hand, I felt as though I had started a new life. I could do whatever I wanted without anyone bothering me. I attended school there fearlessly and learned a lot, including Hindi, English, and a ton of other things. There, I knew what exactly life is and how it felt to be a free woman.

I made a lot of friends, and had a normal childhood. I was really satisfied in India, and I lived there for almost three years. However, after spending three years in India we went back to my country to see my uncles, aunts, and grandfather. We stayed about a month in Afghanistan, and when we tried to go back to India, sadly, my Grandfather passed away. We were unable to go back, so we stayed in Afghanistan. There were no easy moments as we stayed in Afghanistan again, especially for me. I was used to wearing whatever I wanted and going outside whenever I wanted; but in Afghanistan, I couldn’t do any of that which was very hard for me. Going to school with fear and then returning home and spending the entire day at home is not simple.

For our freedom and education, we had to leave Afghanistan once again. We traveled to Turkey and stayed there for a year. I was very tired of being forced to move from one country to another and didn’t want to do it again until we came to the United States.

I experienced a lot of difficulties. People treated us differently because we were strangers, which obviously had a big impact on our mental health. I don’t know why, but as I went outside, the people looked weird. But after a year, I began to get used to it. We lived in Turkey for two years before coming to America. At first, I had the impression that because we were immigrants, everyone would treat us differently, the school and people would be like in Turkey. After a few months, I started going to school and there were really nice, respectable people there. I have come to the conclusion that everyone is the same, regardless of their origin or belief. Everyone follows the same process. In the years that followed, I finally understood how to live and now I feel very free.

The United States offered me and my family a chance at a brighter future. We were able to take advantage of the many opportunities available to us, from education to employment. I was able to pursue my studies at a good high school with plans to attend college and study what I want. My journey from Afghanistan to the United States was not only a physical one, but also a mental and emotional one. I had to learn how to cope with the new culture, language, and people I encountered in my new home. I also had to learn how to adjust to the freedom and independence that I was granted—the freedom and independence that I did not have in my country.

My experience as an immigrant in the United States has been an enlightening one. I have been able to gain an appreciation for a culture different from my own and to gain an understanding of the difficulties that come with the process of acclimating to a new environment. I have also been able to gain a greater sense of appreciation for the many freedoms and opportunities available to me here. I may have left my homeland behind, but I will never forget the strength and courage it took to make such a big move. I will always carry with me the lessons I learned, and the experiences I had during my journey from Afghanistan to the United States. Finally, I have arrived at the place I had planned for myself. I am able to live independently and attend school. I have the opportunity to pursue my dreams in the U.S. and make them come true. I’m a senior in high school now, and intend to go to university to pursue a career that I hope to have and love in the future.

By Fatimah Habibi, age 18, h.s. senior, Connecticut.

Fatimah adds: “I was born and raised in Afghanistan. My cultural background is Afghan and I was raised in a household that placed a strong emphasis on our cultural traditions and customs. One of the traditions that is most important to me is the celebration of Eid al-Fitr, which marks the end of Ramadan. During this holiday, my family and I gather together to pray, give gifts, and share meals. It is a time for us to feel connected to our culture and to pass on our traditions to future generations.

I was also taught about the history and values of my culture, which has had a big impact on my worldview and how I approach life. For instance, the importance of family and community is something that is very important to me and something that I try to incorporate into my daily actions. My cultural background and traditions have played a significant role in shaping who I am and have given me a sense of belonging and connection to my heritage.

The most popular and my favorite dish in my country is called Qabili palau. This is how we make it.

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of basmati rice
  • 4 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 medium onion, finely chopped
  • 1 pound lamb or beef, cut into small pieces
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
  • 1/2 teaspoon garam masala
  • 1/2 cup raisins
  • 1/2 cup slivered almonds
  • 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley

Recipe:

  1. Rinse the rice in a fine mesh sieve until the water runs clear.
  2. In a large pot, heat the oil over medium heat. Add chopped onion and cook until it is soft and translucent, about 5 minutes.
  3. Add the lamb or beef to the pot and cook until it is brown on all sides, about 10 minutes.
  4. Add the salt, pepper, turmeric, cumin, coriander, and garam masala to the pot and stir to coat the meat evenly.
  5. Add 3 cups of water to the pot and bring to a boil.
  6. Add the washed rice to the pot, stirring to combine. Reduce the heat to low, cover the pot, and simmer for 20 minutes, or until the rice is tender and the water has been absorbed.
  7. Stir in the raisins, almonds, and parsley. Cover the pot and cook for an additional 5 minutes.
  8. Remove the pot from the heat and let it sit, covered, for 10 minutes. Fluff the rice with a fork and serve. Enjoy!

Editor’s Note: If you are a vegetarian, like many people are in India, you can choose to skip the meat—lamb or beef, etc. The rice pilaf dish will still be very tasty.




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