The Notebook of Not-me

By Kathy Shen, Age 11, New York. 

On a cloudy Monday morning, Bridgette was doodling in her sketchpad when she felt something hard and rough while reaching for her eraser. She turned and looked down to see a red notebook sitting at the roots of the ancient maple tree, as if it was waiting for Bridgette to pick it up. Bridgette was sure this wasn’t hers—she remembered clearly that there was not a notebook in sight yesterday nor throughout the week. She glanced around, unsure. The notebook looked old, with its leather spine peeling, but a bright red cover that still stood out against the gloomy, grey sky. Curiosity overwhelmed her and she flipped the notebook over to the first line on the first page.

In dainty, cursive handwriting, there was a message on the first line that said, “Write what you wish to be true.”

There was no name, explanation, or any other words on that page. It was as if the notebook had been waiting for her to make a wish.

***

Once Bridgette arrived home, she slipped off her sneakers and ran upstairs to examine the notebook. Through all her classes she was busy wondering if this notebook was a fraud or if it would actually work. She decided to keep it a secret in case anyone accused her of something. Bridgette grabbed her book and placed it on her desk. Tired from all this uncertainty, she took a deep breath and decided to test the powers of this notebook.

With shaky fingers as her pencil hovered over the second page, Bridgette wrote down, “I wish for tomorrow to be sunny.” She waited a while, half expecting something to happen, but the only sounds were the cars driving by outside. She sighed in disappointment as she saw the same old words on the page. Feeling a bit foolish and ready to go into a deep slumber, Bridgette crawled onto her bed with her thoughts racing.

Eventually, the silence rocked her to sleep.

***

The next morning came a little too quickly for Bridgette, as the rays of sunlight blinded her eyes when they opened. The thought of the notebook popped into her mind. Quickly, she jumped out of her bed and grabbed the notebook, flipped to the second page, and now saw a little check mark by her wish.

Bridgette’s heart quickened as she realized that her wish truly came true! Her mind began racing with ideas that she could make happen with the help of this notebook. Rinnnnggggg! Bridgette’s alarm went off, reminding her to get downstairs to leave. She quickly slammed her notebook into her backpack, put on her shoes, and ran down the stairs, eager to start the school day. Slamming the door shut, Bridgette practically skipped her way to school. She realized being friendless would bring her an advantage in keeping her magic notebook a secret.

 ***

As Bridgette walked to her seat, her head buzzed with excitement and she clutched her backpack straps a little tighter than before. If the notebook could change the weather, could it change her whole life?        

That afternoon, during lunch, Bridgette went to the library and sat down at a table. She carefully took her notebook out and flipped to a fresh page to write something new. With her hand no longer shaking, she wrote down the words, “I wish to be popular.” Bridgette stared at the words for a good minute, until the nervous, yet excited flutters left her chest. The bell rang just at that time, and she closed the book, hurrying to class.

The next day, when she walked up the steps, people she had never even seen before greeted her and smiled. At lunch, the cool crew, made up of football players and cheerleaders, insisted that Bridgette sit with them. Chelsea, the head cheerleader, smiled warmly.

“Bridgette! We were just saying how it feels like you’ve always been part of our group.”

Marcus, the quarterback, nodded, “Yeah, it’s like you’ve always belonged here.”

Bridgette blinked, surprised and a little unsure if they really knew her or if this was part of the magic. Even older students complimented her on her hair and style, saying it was so “original and lighthearted.” Bridgette’s hair was let down as always, and she still had her usual outfit of jeans and a t-shirt on. 

By the end of the week, Bridgette had already been invited to three parties, two study meets, and a popular kids group chat. There were all the cheerleaders, student council members, football players, soccer players, and anyone else who was a high member of her school society. However, She realized that people started laughing their lungs out at every joke she made.

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms?” she asked, and then smiled before the room exploded with laughter.

“Because they make up everything!” Bridgette was not sure if she even found this joke worthy of exploding over. She had used it as a test, curious to see what it was like being in the spotlight.

Little by little, Bridgette’s desk stopped being crammed full of sketchbooks and eraser shavings. Instead, it became full of party invitations and bottles of lip gloss. Bridgette finally realized that being popular was smiling all the time, laughing at everything, and performing. She felt as if she had to be “on” all the time. 

***

That night, when Bridgette came home, she went straight to her room and looked at the mirror. The person looking back was not the person who loved to draw or felt calm under the maple tree. The spark in her eyes seemed to have dimmed.

Bridgette sat on the bed, thinking about her wish. Being popular was not what she had imagined. It felt fake, empty, and lonely.

Slowly, she took out the notebook once more. On the next clean page she wrote down her wish:

“I wish to be myself again.”

By Kathy Shen, Age 11, New York. She adds: “I speak both English and Mandarin Chinese, and I come from a Chinese American background. I love storytelling, reading, and especially spending time with dogs, my favorite breed is the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel! Sadly, I do not have one yet.

“What’s important to me is fairness, honesty, and standing up for others. When I grow up, I want to be a judge or a lawyer because I care about justice and helping people. I also enjoy writing stories that explore emotions and choices, and I hope to get better and better at it. Writing helps me express what I’m thinking, and I love using it to imagine different possibilities.”